PDF Ebook Your Competent Child: Toward A New Paradigm In Parenting And Education, by Jesper Juul
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Your Competent Child: Toward A New Paradigm In Parenting And Education, by Jesper Juul
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Readers comments: A Fabulous, Important Book, Jesper Juul provides parents with such an amazing, simple, and absolutely vital approach to raising children that it rings true on every page. Some of what he suggests we as parents do is difficult - as it is against our "knee-jerk" reactions we may have learned from our parents, but all of it is right on about how we can raise confident, healthy, whole humans, right from the start. I was thrilled to have discovered a book that allowed me to see different possibilities with child raising. Anyone with a child will gain immensely from reading this book, seeing themselves (as I did, over and over again) in his numerous examples, and learning how to move on from there. Without reservation, I am grateful for this book and highly recommend it. No Parent Should Be Without It, There are not enough superlatives to describe how helpful this book has been to our family. With tremendous wisdom and a warm, pragmatic eye, Mr. Juul helps us redefine the ways we look at a child's behavior and our relationship to our children and ultimately, each other. This is a book that doesn't offer easy answers or 'tricks' to help in the raising of your child. This is a book that helps you see with a child's eye, hear with a child's ear, and feel with a child's heart in ways that feel so natural and obvious, you will wonder why you haven't thought of them before. But trust me, you haven't. It is a book that offers day-to-day skills along with the thinking that helps generate them, leaving the reader feeling smart and well-satisfied. This groundbreaking book should be on the shelf of all parents everywhere. If you read only one book on raising your child, this is the one. I cannot recommend it highly enough. If you have children - read this book!, This is an amazing book that will surely turn upside down any thoughts you ever had about raising children. Even though you may not agree with all the views
- Sales Rank: #368188 in Books
- Published on: 2011-09-29
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .54" w x 6.00" l, .71 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 236 pages
About the Author
Jesper Juul (1948) is a family therapist, husband, father and a grandfather. He is the author of numerous books and a renowned international public speaker for and has founded Familylab International - an organization committed to inspire parents to find new and healthier ways to become a succesful family and professionals to create more profound relationships with children and youth in their care. Jesper Juul now lives in Denmark and Croatia and works in three continents as curriculum manager as well as trainer, educator and public speaker.
Most helpful customer reviews
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
A Must Read for anybody serious about being a Parent
By Gabriel Emanuel Borlean
(�Thank you for reading this review and your votes - either way!�)
it seems that this 2011 edition is just a revised edition of the 2001 printing (2000 translation from danish), with the same content structure. The publishers also changed, from "Farrar, Straus and Giroux" to current "Balboa Press." 2001 printing had 260 pages, current 2011 printing 236 pages, due to a shorter introduction.
INTRO:
Okay, I am barely a new parent (expecting our first child) and have not read many books in this genre (child development and upbringing). I have seen this book on a local community college bookstore shelves but the subtitle "Toward New Basic Values for the Family" sent the wrong message to a conservative like me. (In the new 2011 printing, the subtitle is changed to "Toward a new paradigm in parenting and education"). The amount of wisdom, introspective reflection the reader has to do, and examples provided compell me to give this a 5 star and to write the review title given. Here in Denmark, I have even met Danes that read the book no less than five times (due to content being so rich and thought-provoking).
AUTHOR:
"Jesper Juul, born in Denmark in 1948, is a family therapist. He is the director of the Kempler Institute of Scandinavia, a center for family therapy, and Family Counseling International in Croatia." What I liked about Jesper is that he has a lot of experience with families from different continents and cultures, and is also humble enough to recognize that he had also made mistakes while raising his son.
CONTENT:
From the Introduction, Jesper Juul sounds like a good friend with a mild tone that wants to challenge our way of thinking about raising children. The author is proposing that parents and families adopt a Scandinavian system to raising kids, a 3rd way between the old-fashioned authoritarian model and the modern democratic model.
The Chapters are as follows (with specific quotes):
INTRODUCTION
Chapter 1. FAMILY VALUES
Chapter 2. CHILDREN COOPERATE!
Chapter 3. SELF-ESTEEM AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
A great chapter on the difference between these 2 concepts and which is healthy and which is not, and how to understand them thru ample examples.
Chapter 4. RESPONSIBILITY, BEING RESPONSIBLE, AND POWER
This 3rd way of raising kids, means "to create relationships within the family that are based on treating one another with equal dignity, relationships that inhance everyone's integrity and self-esteem, and promote reciprocal good feelings".
The most valuable information I took from this book was that "these concepts - integrity, self-esteem, and responsibility - are inseperable" and "respecting children's self-esteem and personal responsibility". "Children know what they want, but sometimes they do not know what they need".
Chapter 5. CHILDREN'S SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY
Chapter 6. LIMITS
"The belief that there is one 'right' way of raising children. There is none. What does exist is a mutual learning process based on who you are as a parent and who your child is. Parents need to learn to be as true to themselves as posible, and as direct and personal in their expression as they can be. By doing so, they will learn about the true nature and personality of each child, and thanks to the child's competent feedback, parents will be able to fine-tune their reactions to the child. ... The real question is 'What is good for my relationship with my child ?' That is, what makes both of us - and the relationship between us - develop in a healthy way ?" "To create families in which all members thrive and develop in healthy ways, the focus needs to be on dialogue, not on 'permission'".
Chapter 7. FAMILIES WITH TEENAGERS
"The way in which the family decision-making process unfolds is more important than the actual decisions that are reached. It is better to take plenty of time to reach decisions than to forge hurried compromises in order to establish domestic peace. Also it is better to ensure that both parties are taken seriously than to cut off discussion by proposing a 'fair' solution".
Chapter 8. PARENTS
CONCLUSION:
While the English translation is sometimes forceful (my Danish wife owns the original edition of "Det kompetente barn" but I am not at a level good enough to read and understand Danish yet),
a) the amount of FOOD FOR THOUGHT,
b) excellent relevant life EXAMPLES, and
c) open-minded nonsense no-cookie-cutter approach
makes this book a TOP REFERENCE in our family library, and will be read a couple more times throught the next decade.
(�Thank you for reading this review and your votes - either way!�)
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful.
Your Competent Child
By Jaton'
I wish I could give this book separate ratings for the concepts it presents and the writing. I'd give the concepts 5 stars, but the writing 1 star. The concepts were enormously helpful to my son as he became a father. This book made the world of difference in how he relates to his children and it's nothing short of miraculous. The writing, however, is horrid. I read the book in English and I realize that he is not a native English speaker. He either wrote the English himself or hired someone to translate it who is also not a native English speaker. There are spelling errors, punctuation errors, and grammatical errors throughout, which I found extremely distracting. Even the most proficient native English speakers need someone else to edit their books and the fact that Juul was so arrogant as to think that he didn't need this help is maddening to me. He also uses certain words in a peculiar way, such as "responsibility" and "cooperate." We all know what these words mean in our normal conversation, so when he appropriates these words to depict some of his key concepts in a way that is NOT consistent with the standard definitions of those words, it makes it difficult to grasp those concepts. It's like using "driveway" for "street." As Mark Twain said, "The difference between the right word and the almost right word is like the difference between lightening and lightening bug." I really wish that someone would properly edit this work so it would be more accessible; the concepts he presents are crucial.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
A Breakthrough
By Nikolaus Heger
It is not often that I experience a profound insight in a book: Your Competent Child manages that at page six! And it keeps going from there, providing insight after insight - not opinions, not helpful explanations, not "tricks" to ease life with your children, but rather profound truth that will change your understanding of children forever.
A truth speaks for itself they say, and this is what I experienced with this book. You just know immediately that yes, this is why things are the way they are. Its mind-blowing.
I have read many childrens books, all of them highly recommended by friends or Amazon. All were helpful, some provided new insight and explanations of how the little ones work, but none had this level of deep understanding. This is an entirely new category. I am on page 60 now and my life has been changed forever - how many books have achieved that? Maybe three or four including this one. I am really happy to have found this book now - it came recommended by my brother and mother who both loved it. Not only my children, now 2 and 4 will thank me, it also makes our whole family life much better.
Cannot recommend this enough. Id give it 10 stars if I could.
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